(Recitative)
Well, I’ll tell you a tale of me days under sail,
‘Tis a story that chills to the marrer,
For there’s no wind or tide blowing o’er the sea side,
Just a gust where the cut’s a bit narrer.

Our womenfolk brave gave us a great wave
As we started that journey historic,
But we ran out of soap at the Cape of Good Hope,
That’s the name of the boozer at Warwick.

Well, in Netherton Tunnel he fell off the gunn’l,
The names that he called me was shocking.
He fell up to his chest in the BCN’s best
And he smelt like a sewerman’s stocking.

The weather was fine as we left the main line
And we turned at the Ocker Hill cooler;
From Rider’s Green to the New Thirteen
The cut runs as straight as a ruler.

But the folks round about, when they chuck rubbish out
To fill up the cut they think clever;
Where the bridge-holes were worst we muttered and cursed
And shouted ‘West Bromwich for ever!’

We didn’t get far going down Perry Barr,
Where the paddle-gear just wouldn’t function;
And after a while we got under the pile
That the locals call ‘Spaghetti Junction’.

Down Curd’orth and Min’orth we and’t a penn’orth
Of sunshine; so much did we lack it
That we followed a star which led to the bar
Of a pub called the ‘Dog in a Jacket’.

At four in the morning, before day was dawning,
And me mate some shuteye was grabbing,
His mattress was floating and he was a-boating
The coal-box the length of the cabin!

Well, the boat struck a rock by the Charity Dock,
And we felt we’d had enough glory;
Before ‘e said ‘No!’, we’d left it with Joe:
And that is the end of me story.

The butty-boat is an unpowered boat towed by a motor-boat.

Netherton Tunnel is one of two running under Dudley. 3027 yards long, it has towing paths both sides. The parallel and older bore (1792) is Dudley Tunnel (3172 yd) which is also complex since side-tunnels lead to old mineworkings. Dudley would have been abandoned but for the efforts of the Dudley Tunnel Trust. (See 'Push, Boys, Push!)
Ocker Hill Cooler: the cooling towers of Ocker Hill power station by Tame Valley Junction on the Walsall Canal.
Riders Green: 8 locks near Pudding Green Junction, dropping the 453ft B'ham level to the 408ft Walsall level.
New Thirteen: the 13 locks at Perry Barr, Tame Valley Canal. The Old Thirteen are those at Farmer's Bridge.

Spaghetti Junction, officially the Gravelly Hill Interchange, is the complex motorway junction between M6 and the A38(M) several miles north of Birmingham city centre.

The 'Dog in a Doublet' pub is by the Birmingham & Fazeley Canal at Bodymorr Heath.

'Joe': Joe Gilbert, of Charity Dock, Bedworth, on the Coventry Canal.